Iraya Gift for a first-time mum: ideas for her, not for the baby
When a first baby arrives, nearly every parcel contains babygrows, blankets and rattles. They're lovely, but they're for the baby. This guide is for anyone who wants to give something to her: her partner, a friend, a sister, her mum or her colleagues. What follows is useful even if you don't end up buying anything here.
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What a mum appreciates in the first months
The first months with a baby are rarely what you imagine beforehand. There's less sleep, less time to yourself and lots of visitors. That's why the presents people remember most tend to be the ones that take something off her plate, not the ones that add more things to the house.
- Time. Looking after the baby for an hour so she can have a shower in peace, take a nap or go for a walk on her own.
- Cooked meals. A few frozen, labelled dishes, in containers she doesn't have to give back.
- Help she doesn't have to ask for. Putting a wash on, doing the shopping, walking the dog or taking the older child to school, if there is one.
- Something just for her. A novel, comfy pyjamas, her favourite coffee. Small, but hers.
- Something that captures this moment. In a few years she won't remember how many babygrows she was given, but she will remember what her baby's face looked like.
What's best saved for later
Some well-meant presents feel like a burden in those weeks. It's not that they're wrong: they just arrive at the wrong time.
- Anything that creates work: plants to water, kits to put together, vouchers for a fixed date that mean getting organised.
- Anything that feels like a test: books on how to be a good mother, advice nobody asked for or clothes for âgetting her figure backâ.
- Long visits where she ends up playing host. If you go, keep it short and bring the coffee yourself.
From pregnancy to her first Mother's Day: what fits at each stage
Rather than who's giving it, what makes the difference is when. Whether you're her partner, her mum or a colleague, this is what tends to work at each stage.
| When | What fits |
|---|---|
| During pregnancy | A specific promise for afterwards (âI'll have the baby on Tuesdaysâ), rather than yet another thing for the nursery |
| The first few weeks | Cooked meals, a load of washing done, short visits; nothing to assemble or give back |
| From the first to the third month | A bit of time on her own, with someone she trusts looking after the baby |
| From six months on | A keepsake of the two of them: by now the baby's face is more defined and looks much more like them in a drawing |
| Her first Mother's Day | In Spain it's the first Sunday in May: a book with her and her baby in it is just right for it |
If you live far away from her, the practical side gets harder, but the keepsake doesn't: you order it from your phone and it's sent to her home.
A keepsake with her face and her baby's
The Arms That Rock You is the only IrayaBooks story in which a mother is drawn with her own face, alongside her baby's, each one from their own photo. A photo of the two of them together works, or one of each. It's 28 scenes in verse about everyday life: the shawl, the lullaby, bath time, the walk in the park, the finger the baby grabs in their whole fist.
It's a story to read to the baby, but she's usually the one who gets emotional. One page puts it like this: âThe day you came, so new, Mama was brand-new, too!â And you write the dedication yourself, for free, up to 140 characters: there's room for whatever you want to say to her.
If the baby isn't six months old yet, bear in mind that their little face changes very quickly and the cover will be more approximate; a few months later, the likeness improves a lot. Before you pay you see the finished cover at no cost and, if you're not convinced, you try another photo. It costs âŹ39.99, plus âŹ4.99 delivery, and arrives in 7 to 9 working days.
If you're looking for something just for the baby, have a look at The Day You Arrived or the guide to the first year.
Our books
The Arms That Rock You
The Day You ArrivedFrequently asked questions
Can I give it while she's still pregnant?
Not yet: the story is drawn from a photo of the baby, so it can't be made beforehand. During pregnancy a promise of help for afterwards is a better bet; the book fits a few months later.
How do I get a photo of the two of them without her finding out?
The easiest way is to ask her partner or someone at home. Separate photos of each of them also work, for example one of her that you already have and another of the baby.
Does anyone else appear in the story?
The baby and their mum appear, each with their own face. Grandma comes into a few scenes, but as a figure without features, so any grandmother can see herself there. And there's one page where the baby appears on their own.
Can it be given as if from the baby?
Yes. Just write the dedication as if the baby were speaking. You can edit it for free before paying, and it's one of the first things she'll read when she opens the book.